Bundesliga worst 11
May 19, 2014The most disappointing players of a season tend not to hail from the classier end of a league table, and this Bundesliga campaign was no exception. Yet with multiple German champions Nuremberg relegated, and giants Hamburg coming so close to the precipice that a strong breeze would have tipped them over the edge, there's no shortage of stellar names in our hall of shame for 2013/4.
Werder Bremen's faltering efforts to usher in a new era after parting ways with long-term coach Thomas Schaaf also piqued the interest of several DW contributors. The rate of consensus was highest in the defensive positions, while in attack two votes - or just the one in Daniel Caligiuri's case - could suffice for inclusion among a wealth of candidates. It seems inadequacy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
Goalkeeper:
Rene Adler - Hamburg: Adler's been on a two-year rollercoaster since joining Hamburg, and what went up last season crashed back down this time around. The former German number two claimed 3.5 votes of a possible 5: "as flappy as a disorientated pidgeon," "conceded 60 in 29," or, as Jefferson put it, "duh."
Defenders:
Heiko Westermann - Hamburg: Westermann's once-in-a-lifetime volley against Bayer Leverkusen - the goal that buried Sami Hyypia - didn't cancel out his defensive frailties. The German international collected a full house of five DW thumbs down. His blunder on the last league weekend said it all, or perhaps Ross put it most succinctly: "Hamburg were rubbish, read all about it."
Johan Djourou - Hamburg: No vote from Ross, but a trio singled out the Arsenal loanee. The second of an expensive duo at the heart of a fumbling HSV defense, Djourou played enough games to trigger a buyout clause, meaning Arsene Wenger can start selling ice to Eskimos if his time at the Emirates comes to an end.
Assani Lukimya - Bremen: Scored an ignominious hat trick of DW votes, as well as an own goal to get Bayern Munich off the mark in their 7-0 demolition of Werder. A "one-man blooper film" in Jefferson's eyes, Lukimya pipped players including teammate Luca Caldirola to "win" a spot in our side.
Javier Pinola - Nuremberg: One of two relegated players in our XI, and Pinola looks increasingly ready for second-tier football. His pace fading, the few decent performances Pinola enjoyed came when he stepped into the center of defense and could rest those weary legs. Deserves credit, however, for fighting pattern baldness by moving from a mullet to a Mohawk, of sorts, over his years in the Bundesliga.
Midfielders:
Cedrick Makiadi - Bremen: The anchor of our midfield diamond, but not one you'd trust to hold your own ship. Makiadi was part of Freiburg's exodus last season, but as Dave said: "Bremen didn't get the midfield muscle he promised to provide." With three votes, Makiadi's our midfield's second-most popular appointment.
Hiroshi Kiyotake - Nuremberg: One of three inclusions with a right to feel a tad aggrieved. Perhaps it was memories of the previous season that moved Jefferson and Mark to include the Japanese World Cup hopeful. With Kiyotake on song, not being subbed out on 14 occasions, often at half-time, might Nuremberg have survived?
Daniel Caligiuri - Wolfsburg: One measly vote, our apologies. Caligiuri was among a cabal of mediocre midfield options that popped up on our radar, including Änis Ben-Hatira, Sebastian Rode, Takashi Inui, and even his brother Marco Caligiuri. But perhaps Daniel lost the most amongst all the options: he went from being a key player at Freiburg to a fringe figure with the Wolves, and might even regret taking that pay rise last summer.
Rafael van der Vaart - Hamburg: The only other genuine consensus choice. Hamburg's captain and top earner has struggled with fitness, as usual, but also with youngster Hakan Calhanoglu taking the creative reins at HSV. As DW struggled to pick its offensive disappointments, one theme recurred in attacking midfield: "Huge let-down at pivotal moments," Jonathan said, "worst value for money in the entire league" for Jefferson, and "hugely underwhelming, rarely match-fit" to Dave.
Strikers:
Vaclav Kadlec - Frankfurt: The Czech international hit such a rich vein of form on arrival in Frankfurt that, to tell the truth, DW swooned. Yet if you exclude games against relegated Nuremberg - he scored against them home and away - Kadlec hasn't hit a Bundesliga goal since his brace against Werder Bremen in September. That was just his third appearance for Frankfurt.
Jacques Zoua - Hamburg: The fifth Hamburger Sport-Verein kicker to make our list, capturing more votes than he scored Bundesliga goals (four to two). This courted put-downs ranging from "dud," and "just not threatening at all," to "completely useless." Ross wondered whether anybody would have noticed if he'd just gone for a boat trip down the Elbe instead of lacing up his boots. There may yet be time.
DW's worst XI was compiled by Jefferson Chase, Ross Dunbar, Jonathan Harding, Dave Raish, and Mark Hallam.
Happy with the choices? Who made your worst 11? Let us know in the comment section below...