Frustrated Wife to Cops: I Can't Get No Satisfaction

Police officers are often called upon to read people their civil rights but it's unusual for them to be asked to explain the conjugal versions. Yet that's exactly what was required of officers attending to a domestic complaint in the German city of Aachen this week.

A desperate woman at her wits end with her disinterested husband called the local cops to demand that they enforce the laws of love after a tiff on Wednesday night.

After several barren months without the merest hint of getting any, the 44-year-old woman turned to law enforcement in a bid to get her lazy lover off the couch and into her bed for some healthy husband-wife horizontal action.

The call to the police came after the woman could bear it no longer and woke her non-performing 45-year old spouse in the middle of the night to demand that he fulfilled his sexual obligations.

When her advances were refused, a row broke out and she called the police and asked them to intervene.

Make my husband have sex with me!

The perplexed cops turned up to hear the wife demanding that they make her hubbie have sex with her.

"The police officials did not feel able to resolve the dispute, let alone issue any kind of official order," police spokesperson Paul Kemen said on Thursday. "And because no crime or infringement could be identified, all they could do was file a report in case intervention might be required at a later date," he added.

Chances are that if the wife hasn't got hers by then, they may be attending a far more serious incident.