UFO Compensation

The German government has been accused of many things but not taking care of those citizens who have been abducted by aliens could be the strangest.

Help is at hand for anyone who feels they have been let down by Chancellor Angela Merkel's coalition in the form of entrepreneurial lawyer Jens Lorek who has seized upon this apparent niche in the compensation market. Lorek has made it known that he is the man to pursue your claim if you feel that the state isn't taking care of you post-abduction.

Abductees could get cash, therapy or drugs

Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, told reporters that people who experience unexplained time loss, discover unusual markings on their bodies and find themselves having flashbacks of procedures including anal probes should come to him. He would then attempt to win state compensation cases on their behalf.

"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Lorek said Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

Citing statistics that state that scores of alien assaults are reported in Germany every year, Lorek said that abductees could stand to win major remuneration or other benefits from the German government. "These people could appeal for therapies or cures," he said.

Lorek had yet to win any abduction claims at the time of publication.